MY ROLE MODEL- MY FEARLESS MOM
My mom, born in 1931 showed me the right direction, not just in words, but in action too. She got married in 1952, not a progressive society then. As was customary, when my dad came to ‘SEE HER’, she clearly stated that shewould not give even a penny as dowry; nor would she entertain any sudden jewelry or money demands right at the time of Saptapadi, which was a trend then. My dad proudly recounted this incident many a times.
As they say, History repeats itself. In 1992, my marriage was fixed. A month later, on one of my visits, my would-be F-I-L told me that ‘10-12 tola’ gold was an ordinary demand that my dad must fulfill. My role model inspired me and I straight away said, “NO, my parents will talk to you tomorrow.”
Next day, my dad and my brother went to meet the party. It resulted in a kind of bargaining, and my brother called it off and came back home. Few days later, I told my mom that I was going to return the sari that was gifted to me by them along with the boy’s ‘patrika’; why should we keep it with us! I rode my LUNA to return them.
As destiny would will it, it was ‘the boy’ who opened the door. Apparently, his friend had informed him about the cancellation of our marriage owing to the gold demand, and he came down from Mumbai to oppose it. We talked, and I took the sari back.
Finally, we got married. Had my mom not done it in 1952, I would not have repeated it in 1992. I do salute my dad and my husband for their stand.
I’m lucky to have a daughter, and I’m sure she would carry the legacy forward. If we need to put a stop to this practice, which actually is legally prohibited, it’s our generation which ought to be firm and pass on the values to the next generation.
Chitralekha Kulkarni
Faculty- English and Legal Studies
Choithram School, Manikbagh, Indore
My mom, born in 1931 showed me the right direction, not just in words, but in action too. She got married in 1952, not a progressive society then. As was customary, when my dad came to ‘SEE HER’, she clearly stated that shewould not give even a penny as dowry; nor would she entertain any sudden jewelry or money demands right at the time of Saptapadi, which was a trend then. My dad proudly recounted this incident many a times.
As they say, History repeats itself. In 1992, my marriage was fixed. A month later, on one of my visits, my would-be F-I-L told me that ‘10-12 tola’ gold was an ordinary demand that my dad must fulfill. My role model inspired me and I straight away said, “NO, my parents will talk to you tomorrow.”
Next day, my dad and my brother went to meet the party. It resulted in a kind of bargaining, and my brother called it off and came back home. Few days later, I told my mom that I was going to return the sari that was gifted to me by them along with the boy’s ‘patrika’; why should we keep it with us! I rode my LUNA to return them.
As destiny would will it, it was ‘the boy’ who opened the door. Apparently, his friend had informed him about the cancellation of our marriage owing to the gold demand, and he came down from Mumbai to oppose it. We talked, and I took the sari back.
Finally, we got married. Had my mom not done it in 1952, I would not have repeated it in 1992. I do salute my dad and my husband for their stand.
I’m lucky to have a daughter, and I’m sure she would carry the legacy forward. If we need to put a stop to this practice, which actually is legally prohibited, it’s our generation which ought to be firm and pass on the values to the next generation.
Chitralekha Kulkarni
Faculty- English and Legal Studies
Choithram School, Manikbagh, Indore